--- "No," said the Mother Superior. the Mother Superior screamed. Why are you telling me? So then, why are you telling me? A couple of seconds later, another text arrived. Source. Which social cause do they most care about? The priest asks: Whats wrong?. "Now just rest and let the poison work. "I'm telling everyone!". Everything is alright." WebConfession Quotes. Source. Finally, he pushed his refrigerator out his apartment window. Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, and he asked me to keep you occupied." 37. Real gentlemen know quality when they see it. Poor Micky didnt deserve it." Top Funny Confessions I ate dog food just to see what it tasted like. Your email address will not be published. The mission is to find a bear in a 10000 sq/km forest 4. These true confessions are brought to you by the app Whisper. I told her before we met, I slept with a lot of prostitutes. An old German man goes to confession one Sunday. I feel like Im lucky to be alive and apparently had some very nice people take care of me. He went to his wife Follow the, share the weirdest thing they ever did as a kid. Even when we went to a restaurant, there had to be a chair for Janet. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? It's hard to work on yourself when there's no one around to see it. "Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Confession #2 I have a slight addiction to Parmesan cheese. The boy replies 'No, Father. Please please please take a look at it and maybe share it with other Etsy friends! When I could One night I got really drunk and pissed right outside of the local bar. I don't want to ruin her reputation'. 'Fucking auto correct, I meant "wifi", not "wife"', and she was already awake. --- And the guy goes: I'm telling everybody! Funny Confessions funny sins, secrets and stories | Page 4 12 of the most fascinating subreddits for (mostly) true stories Tobias is a content specialist with over a decade of experience writing about men's lifestyles for a variety of publications around the world. Similar to the previous article, all of these confessions come from Reddits r/confessions thread. Priest: oh no no they don't like that sort of behaviour is heaven. about my sister." The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Of The Kinkiest Fantasies People Are Into Said the priest "No, I know that," said the man, "but I made him pay rent." My wife died a year ago. The man replies, "But how can I? The priest says "What have you done, my son?" On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144." St. Peter tells him: "I know. What quality do they value most in others? Now stand and confess your transgression." The longer you're dating, the more you'll learn about each otherbut let's be honest. The tied up and helpless. When I sleep with stuffed animals, I make sure their heads are After mass, he starts talking to the pastor, asking him all sorts of s** questions, just to keep him occupied. After much gaping, he finally finds the words to say "God, she is beautiful, she is truly your most perfect creation. If you're funny or full or art, I'll probably follow you back. "Yes, Father, it is." Then the priest comes in. That, combined with my car not getting stolen from the theater parking lot, made that day a pretty good day. "Of course, my son." Top 10 funny confessions ideas and inspiration - Pinterest PRIEST: You forgot pride. Whether you aced this quiz or there's still more to learn, the bottom line is, it's important to understand who we're with. I have been with a loose girl." Do they respond quickly or need time to process in an argument? I beg for forgiveness." Funny Confessions Everyone I know says I need more sunlight or friends I just moved out, I dont think they understand how I try to do the things they ask but whenever I talk to them about myself they think Im complaining or guilting them, I just want help. No one moving and no music from anything but there is traffic sounds from outside. "I'm into restraints and bondage. When nature calls. If you are in need of help please contact people who care and please remember suicide is never the answer. The rubber had a satisfying texture and eventually all the barbies had mangled stumps at the ends of their legs. ", "So, what did you do?" In fact, you can probably count up to a dozen pieces of personal information that you do not want to share with other people. The priest replies, "Get out. The French spy is tied with his hands strapped behind his back, a d is tortured and interrogated. The doctor says, "I slept with five of my patients. Sell custom creations to people who love your style. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. I assume I was drugged because I didnt have any hangover. *P.S. I dont know how to tell them I just masturbate. Father: What are you telling me for then? should I just lie and say I workout from now on Idk what to do. , 14 Oldest Living Celebrities That Are Still Alive, 15 of the Most Disturbing Books Ever Written, 20 Funny Town Names You Wont Believe Are Real, 22 Strange, Wacky, and Funny ChatGPT Conversations, 20 Funny Commercials That Will Get You Laughing, Funny Confessions From Reddit You Wont Believe. I just fight my own thought everyday and wear myself out. 'Was it Nina Capelli?' The next morning, I am waking up without a hangover back in the flat we had left from. The Dutchman said. God bless my mom for going along with that. "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied." Youll get plenty of laughs from them. So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child. The second admitted, "I drink too much boooooooooooooze." I even stole a gun from my parent at one point didnt want my little brother to be sad though. the man replied. For example, you'll each write down what you think each other's favorite movie is. Why is it that I am alone?" "There's no need to" his wife replied. The priest sighs in frustration. KGB goes last. The second priest explains that he blows the church collection betting on horses. Categories . Well father , during the war , I hid a Jewish family in my attic and saved them from certain death. If you have a fast internet connection. The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" Father: Well, as a good catholic I can't condone this behaviour. Now you go and behave yourself." "Was it Kathleen McGonigle?" I'm Jewish." But they freak me the fuck out. 1. Confess here before your friends, and you will be allowed into heaven." It would be the fake nice. I love you! Someone who had committed "I put fabric softener in my underwear before work so no one can smell my farts. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again." Would they ever be open to a long-distance relationship? What is their preferred form of communication (that's not in-person). WebThis post is all about getting it off your chest and owning up to past wrongs. I wouldn't call these a hack, but at the same time.. Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I'd like to unsubscribe from my own thoughts. that's my booth! 'And who was the girl you were with?' emylierifley <--- followme While confessing anonymously to randoms on the internet is hardly taking responsibility for one's actions, the The man says, Father, forgive me, it's a long time since my last confession. WebA man went to confession. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. Tap on any picture to share the page to your timeline. My good man, says the priest, I think you've come to the wrong place. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. "Forgive me, father", he cried. "* Because of that my school put me on probation and asked me to submit several different documents, etc. Priest: "Because my hand is getting tired. Farmer: What about the $4000? Finally,the priest pounds three times on the wall. They decided to confess their biggest flaw to each other. He recommends finding time for each other every day and thinking of a thoughtful question or two that can help you both root in your connectednesswhether something from this list or something you come up with on your own. I hate it, people tell me oh your just asking for attention or you dont understand what its really like being depressed but fuck them, there is no competition I get no fun from glorifying this. So have you ever done any of these? "I know," she replied. St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a bicycle. 38. "Well, that is not a sin?" 6 years ago Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?" Husband is standing next to his dying wife. ", "When I was like 6 or 7 I was too afraid to go to the bathroom at night so I snuck into the living room and peed in a can. The German and French spies ask how he lasted so long without talking and he says "I wanted to talk, but I couldn't move my hands. What's the most spiritual experience they've ever had? Confession Quotes But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! Maybe its my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Whats the grossest thing thats come out of your body? The priest asks, 'It wasn't Mary Jones, was it?' "If you are Jewish why are you telling me this?" The Priest replied, I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. ME: No, Im pretty proud of this. should I just lie and say I workout from now on Idk what to do. u/dinglenoggin, How much would I need to save up? "Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. The Priest says "I see. Fund your creativity by creating subscription tiers. Confessions Farmer: What's this? I have something special to offer the world. Are they more passive or confrontational? The Marine, his feelings hurt, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they had of mothers, sisters, girlfriends, cousins, ex-girlfriends, or aunts they had. "During WWII I had someone in hiding in my attic." You're on my side. Father, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.. ", "I named my stuffed animals after the noises I heard my parents make during sex. PO BOX 2350 BERALA NSW 2141 AUSTRALIA Fair Use: For educational purposes and criticism. Both parents agreed the child should be sheen and not heard.